Struggle Beard

In recent years the beard has been making a very strong comeback among men.  Black, white, Latin Asian etc. And I’m not just talking regular beards……we are talking big, thick and lush! The 5 o’clock shadow has always been a welcomed classic, but the big beard, where it was previously synonymous with wilderness men or bikers, is now on Madison Ave. & GQ.  To be a man and without beard, your man card could be in jeopardy. Women love the bearded man nowadays.  It’s like chest hair in the 70’s but less sleazy looking.  The ladies have spoken……Beard the Fcuk Up!!

My lack  of facial follicles has been well documented most of my life. I have been a notorious baby face and have always struggled growing facial hair.  While my friends in high school were beginning to sprout there first signs of manhood, there I was with my little errant hairs that never could quite figure out how to group themselves.  If you have ever seen the movie The Fly with Jeff Goldblum (awesome movie by the way), it was kind of like that.  Just these random hairs beginning to hedge with no sense of rhyme or reason. 

I have never had much luck at trying to grow a full beard. Mostly, I have stuck with just rocking a simple 5 o’clock shadow and maybe a goatee, which would grow with no problems whatsoever.  My beard game just would never progress the way I wanted. 

At the beginning of November, at the behest of a friend of mine, I was convinced to join No Shave November as part of the campaign for Cancer awareness.  What the hell, I figured I’d just let it go wild and do its thing for the next 30 days. While I wouldn’t say I have the face of teen barely outta puberty, it wasn’t the easiest project for sure.  My goatee has never been a problem really, but it has always been my sides that have given me the most problem.  They never really could quite connect. I mean even when the “chinstrap” look was in (was it ever in?!), you couldn’t distinguish my sideburns between actual hair and a long patch of dirt.  It was usually relegated to the faintest of a sideburn that had to be cared for very delicately, lest I lose it forever. 

During my process thru November, my more follicle blessed buddies fed me all the tricks of the trade to inspire growth: Don’t brush it!  Do brush it! Don’t cut it! Cut it! Try this vitamin, try that vitamin and of course the age old wise tale, that will remained unmentioned here.....but has to do with a particular part of the woman's anatomy.(ahem) One trend that has been running rampant is the use of bigen, which is a hair dye that some guys are using to fill in those small areas of their beards to obtain a more full and crisp look.  Imma pass on that shat! I've seen one too many horror shows and one damaged freshly painted wall.   I was feeling and seeing some progress, while also receiving rave reviews on the new look.  It was probably the most hair I had grown on my face, which is saying a lot.  And even if it didn'g grow quite as lush as others, women at least appreciate the effort.  As far as I know, none of the tricks worked…….or maybe they did (reaches for brush).  But as the month neared its end, I was pretty much resolute in the fact that this was as good as it was going to get and planned to retreat back to my previous stat quo.  No sooner that I began contemplating my next haircut with the same friend; I was informed that DecemBeard was just around the corner to promote men’s health & cancer awareness.  Well…..I guess I’m a fledgling of the Beard Gang for another month! 

Action Hank dropping Beard Knowledge!