The Break Up

There comes that time in every man’s life when he has to make a difficult decision. You weigh out the pros & cons as you come to grips with the harsh reality of a break up.  You try to think of the other person’s feelings but you have to also think about what’s best for you.  We never look forward to this day, but sometimes you have to face the inevitable…..and break up with your barber!  It’s a reality that is probably harder for a man to do more than breaking up with his woman, but it happens often…….all across the United States. Even as I type this, right now another relationship is falling apart.

A man and his barber is very special bond that spans years…decades even. You laugh together, share stories, even argue every now and then about how he cut it last time or an overdue tip, but it’s always with the foundation of love.  Most of these relationships start with two people searching for something. The barber is looking for a loyal customer and the man is looking for quality work with care.  A great haircut can not only dictate your day, but it can impact your life. It can determine whether you get that job or that girl. It makes you feel good about yourself and your chances in this world. Think about it for minute, how many times have you seen men fighting with fresh haircuts!? Most of the time, these fights occur in between a shape up or two, and you’re not feeling at your best.  So, when a man decides on a barber, that’s a big responsibility. He is handing over his present & future to a barber’s careful hands.

 It starts like any relationship. Both parties are putting their best foot forward. The barber is giving you that extra care with every swipe of clippers and razor. Making sure you’re comfortable, while still ready to experiment. Doing your part, you tip him and show appreciation for a job well done.  As time goes on you reach of level of comfort. There is an ease in the relationship because you both know what’s expected and that the other will take care of you.  You’re telling secrets, ambitions and fears….all in the span of 30-45mins you have formed a bond.  A wise barber once said…..”the same thing it took to get your customer, is gonna be the same thing it’s gonna take to keep your customer”. Well, that’s probably not true but I’m sure you get where I’m going. At some point the barber gets comfortable. You begin to notice missed areas here and there. All of the sudden your hairline creeps back a bit. You’re arguing more and more about how he cut your facial hair last time, even when you have pictures to the contrary. Haircuts are taking longer, as he is preoccupied with his phone, ordering  food or telling the latest story for the week.  Instead of that faith you had before, now you sit down with a sense of unease. Now the great haircuts are coming sporadically, and you begin to covet the clippers of others. You grow jealous of your friends and their barbers relationships.

 That hard reality hits when you have to terminate what was once a great union. There is never any real easy way to do this, and you would be hard pressed to find any man that has actually sat down with his barber and broken the news. It typically starts as a missed shape up or two. Nothing too drastic where he can notice, because most barbers lose track of the weeks between a full haircut and a shape up.  If you have a barber that can remember, we usually will just tell him that we shaped ourselves up and just followed the line he left from last time…..knowing damn well the shape up you have is of far superior nature than a mere novice could master.  The first time in the new barber’s chair, you feel a bit dirty but you look forward to see what he does.  When you finally get a look at the finished product, you almost fight back tears because you have finally found someone that gets you, as if “Everything I Miss At Home” by Cherrelle plays in the background. How could someone that you just met, know you so well?!  As you leave the barbershop, you look around for any familiar faces on the street that could get back to your old barber. I personally had the experience of running into one of my former Shopmates from my previous barber one day at the bar. At that point I hadn’t officially broken the news to my barber, so I was a bit apprehensive.  As our general conversation was ending, I turned to exit the store and he mentions to me “Hey….that don’t look like a (insert name) haircut! Nice lines!”  As I hesitantly turned to respond, I gave him the uncomfortable “Hhahah!!... (Pointing)”, but then I proceeded to get in close and uttered “not a fuckin’ word my dude….not a word!!” I felt like I just got caught by my wife’s co-worker while I was out with another woman.  Although we never had the conversation, my absence I was sure had been documented, but having someone else break the news to him just didn't seem right. 

Unfortunately life is an ever changing canvas, and often we never know where it may lead us.   You find jobs, you lose jobs…….you fall in love and you fall out of love…….and sometimes we lose barbers.  In the meantime, if you have a good barber, keep them close. But keep yours eyes open for the warning signs of a relationship going bad,........because everyone isn't fortunate enough to make it out before it's too late.